Lost in the Dark

I have an embarrassing confession to make: Up until early this week, I could not find my way home. As independent as one who still lives with their parents can be, I pride myself on my navigational abilities in Calgary, even when they sound something like "take the number three until Safeway, and then walk three blocks east until you see the yellow house with the picket fence." Though some have criticized this method of navigation, (citing the practicality of 'masculine' directions including street names and numbers) I prevail. If I told Irene to turn left at the place where I returned the gross pizza, she would know where I meant! But I digress...

In Buea, street names will not get you very far, as very few streets have them, and even if they did, they would not be overly visible when walking home in the dark - a time when it's often advisable to pay greater attention to where you're placing your feet than your overall destination, in order to avoid falling in a hole. Having slipped into the gutter twice now, I consider myself entitled to give this type of advice. Anyways, the lack of street names and lights aside, I live about 2 km up a rocky, deep-rutted hill, where I've been told taxis dare not go. As such, I've waited at the office every night for my first week and a half for my hosts to drive me home. They are big fans of toiling past 9, and I've paid for my fear of the unknown with many late nights.

Finally, I decided I'd had enough. It was time I grow up and conquer the dark! All I needed was a plan of action. Firstly, I would have to formulate my own set of directions, which I did one night on the aforementioned ride home. Now pay close attention - if you come to visit, this is how you get to my house:

Get the cab to drop you off at the Gendarmerie Brigade Station. Then walk left up the road until you come to your first right turn. Take it, and go down the road until you see the sign on the ground (to the left) for Primary school, and then turn left. Follow the rocky road further up the hill, curving slightly in both directions to avoid veering off onto a smaller road. You will pass an Orange phone stand on your right, and then a house with plantains hanging outside. Keep going until you hit a slight fork in the road, where several tree branches are stacked. Go right. The road will curve down and up, left and right, and you must follow it (past a pink house on your right)until you can no longer go in this direction. Turn left to continue upwards about 3 houses and you're there.

I repeated my 'directions' several times for good measure, and set out alone and determined one night - and I made it. My 'feminine' directions came in handy in a way I hadn't expected, and I will be mocked no more! Those of you who still disagree are welcome to navigate in your own style, but I suggest you bring a flashlight; it's all uphill after the plantains...